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Tripod Torch
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FatMax Tape
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FatMax Open Tote Bag
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FatMax Retractable Knife
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Babe
Sweetheart
Light of My Life
Treacle
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Angel Drawers
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The naff gift you don’t want:
poncey toiletries
god-awful sweaters
boring-ass DVDs
James Blunt CDS
rank aftershaves
tatty nick-nacks
How it makes you feel:
feel like half a man.
smell like a tart's hanky.
look a right Mary-Anne.
weep with boredom.
pray for deafness.
want to vomit, if I'm honest.
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Thought you might appreciate this website to help you get some decent presents for Christmas this year: http://www.stanleymangifts.com